They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
