is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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