Where are you?
In a non slutty way
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
