Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
