'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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