What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
