So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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