Christians are straight up FREAKS
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We left the knife in your bed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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