Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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