How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize