Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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