so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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