and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
