M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
