I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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