i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
