Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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