She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
