There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize