look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
