Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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