I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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