he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
