Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
