Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
