So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
