SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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