Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am one with the molecules
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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