i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
