My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
