Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize