I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
