I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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