Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
