we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
