oh god the rape fog is back!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
