Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
