Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
