ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
