"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
