So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize