So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
