Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
