the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
