Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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