Dual....:-)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
