Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
