Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
