I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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