we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize