I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
