i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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