i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
