Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
