once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
