Green mimosas i think yes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
