He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
