garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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