He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
