hotel room ftw
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
