do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
