I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
