i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
