He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize